[21] the whole prospect seemed in motion and as it fleeted away I
followed till impelled by the swiftness of my steps I shot headlong
from the edge of the Mountain and kept falling, continually falling
till lost in immensity. The Horror and amazement of my Descent dissolved
the Dream. I started up, stared wildly around and when sense and recollection
returned, found myself extended in the same Hall, by the same pillars
as before, the Fire expiring and its embers just glooming thro
the shade. Such are my phantastic Visions and such the flights
of my fancy when Reason has abandoned it. The vast excursions it had
made the variety and rapid succession of Images and all the agitation
of my slumber fatigued instead of refreshing me and desirious of more
sound repose I stole silently to Bed. The Storms and driving Showers
soon hushed me to sleep and I dreamt no more. Thus you see
my Reason or my fancy is continually employed, when abandoned by the
one I obey the other. These two powers are my Sun and Moon. The first
dispels vapours and clears up the face of things, the other throws
over all Nature a dim Haze and may be styled the Queen of Delusions.
I should be too happy could I remain all Winter under the dominion
of these sovereigns, lapt in the silence and solitude, they both so
[22] peculiarly esteem; but I must return again to London again be
teized with Visits and dull impertinent society again suffer the encroachments
of Fashion and crouch beneath the Influence of solemn Idleness and
approved Dissipation. But no this is too terrifying a prospect.
I will break my shackles however splendid and maintain my Allegiance.
I will seclude myself if possible from the World, in the midst of
its Empire and converse many hours every day with you, Moisasour and
Nouronihar. I am determind to enjoy my Dreams my phantasies
and all my singularity, however irksome and discordant to the Worldlings
around. In spite of them I will be happy, will employ myself in trifles,
according to their estimation and instead of making myself master
of the present political state of America, instead of forming wise
plans for its future subjection or calculating when Spain will follow
her Neighbors example I will read, talk and dream of the Yncas
of their gentle empire, the solemn worship of the Sun, the charms
of Quito and the majesty of the Andes. The appearance of Ontario
and Niagara, when first discovered, the Customs of Virginia, its lovely
savannahs, its Idol Kiwasa, the Tombs of its Monarchs shall engage
my attention. It shall dwell also [23] on Florida and the Temple of
Tolomeco; but it shall never be turned towards a Philadelphian Meeting
house. It shall sometimes be occupied with the expeditions of Columbus
Cabral and Soto but never with those of General Gage. I scarce ever
reflect at present on the state of Affairs either in England or America
If I did, what would I encounter but disgust and Indignations. Let
me not conclude with these disagreeable words, let me rather finish
by expressing my Peace and Contentment here, my tranquil occupations
and undisturbed Reveries, my ardent wishes and desires of Futurity.
Farewell Would, that you could disengage yourself from the little
Bustles and paltry concerns of this poor World like
William Beckford
Fonthill
March 1780
I was traversing a Wood in the Regions of perpetual Spring when a
gate shook a little Cloud of blossoms from the branches so beautiful
and fragrant that I collected them and to my surprize found your Letter
almost concealed by Rose leaves. The Genius of some eastern
Wind had whafted it along. [24] Immediately I laid myself down
beneath a Tall Acacia read its poetic contents with rapture.
How pure! How truly oriental! Indeed I believed it dated from Sanaa
or Hism al mowâhab the Castle of Delights. This must be an Arabian
Composition, said I within myself, it breathes all the odours of that
happy Country and I inhale them tho surrounded by perfumes;
for you must know I have left Fonthill sometime and have been transported
to Ginnistan .
One Evening as I took my solitary Ramble over the Hills, sad and pensive,
mourning the absence of those I love, the Sunset grew inconceivably
splendid the Caves of the Sleepers were illumated with the
liveliest Red I ever beheld and the Country far around partook of
the refulgence. Not long could I contemplate the effect of
this sudden Gleam; for the Clouds descending encircled the Spot on
which I stood. Judge of my astonishment and whether it decreased
when a melodious Voice [25] whisperd these words in my Ears.
Consider how fleeting is the breath of Life! why
then must that fleeting breath be wasted in vain Lamentations.
Thou art approaching O Mortal each Hour to the fatal Boundary
beyond which are Regions whose mysteries it is not lawful to reveal.
Till then bathe thy Spirits in delight and follow us to our Meads
on the Summit of Amara where thou mayst sleep undisturbed on
the freshest Herbage till Winter is passd away.
Can you suppose I rejected so benign a proffer Without hesitation
I committed myself to the warm Vapour that drawing nearer and nearer
gilt the Slopes of the Hills and investing me bore me I know not how
into the Air. For several minutes I seemed ascending amongst
Clouds of ruddy glowing [26] Colours which concealed every other object
from my sight. All was stilness in this aerial journey except
when the soft Voice I had heard before sung that verse of Mesihis
you have known me so frequently admire.
Ysh u mush it Kimgicher Kalmay bueiami behar
Be gay too soon the flowers of Spring will fade
This gentle admonition was repeated to me again and again; but with
such infinitely varied cadence and harmonious modulation that I was
grievd when it sounded no more. Just as it ceased the
Vapours dissipated I found myself in the same delicious Landscape
to which I was conveyd last Winter in a Dream. Perhaps
you recollect the description I sent you of it when awakend
from my Trance and in that case another will be tedious. It
is sufficient for me to tell you that I pass my Time in Slumbers truly
fortunate, since during their influence I forget that cruel seperation
which so lately filled my Eyes with Tears. None interrupt my
repose, no other noise is audible in this [27] calm retreat but the
lapse of distant Rills trickling down its craggy promontories.
Sometimes methinks I can distinguish the voices of those invisible
Beings who brought me hither amongst the whispers of the Groves; but
of this I am not quite certain so faint is their Melody. Every thing
in my present visionary state is undecided nor can I properly be said
to hear distinctly or behold with clearness. Sounds reach me
in confused but soothing murmurs and I survey the surrounding objects
with Eyes half closed. To Day however the Charm is somewhat
broken and rising from my verdant Couch I crossed the Lawn which forms
the summit of Amara. A Brook gurgling over some shining pebbles invited
me to drink by its uncommon clearness. Never did I taste such
limpid Waters! the refreshment they gave my whole frame cannot be
described. In these moments I was more than Mortal and fancied
I had drank at the cælestial Fountain. As I was going
once more to dip my hand into the Stream, I [28] seemed to hear the
voice of my invisible Protectors in the impending Grove. Instantly
I ran to the Spot from whence methought these Sounds proceeded but
alas a deep silence again prevaild save when the Wind
blew gently one bough against another. At this Instant a sudden
rustling seizd the Leaves, the blossoms fell and amongst them
I found your Letter. Were you but fully sensible of the pleasures
I received from its perusal you would not so seldom write and tho
the Space which parts us is immense I am sure to receive whatever
you send me. Only walk after Sunset in some green Meadow and when
the twilight breeze blows freely from the West, stretch out your Hand
and trust your Letter to its guidance.
I would feign relate a thousand circumstances of my present Situation
and attempt describing the Scenes upon which I gaze at this Moment;
but the favorable Wind has already risen and plays with my paper as
if impatient to bear it away. Some powerful Being directs and
I dare not murmur. Adieu think [29] often of me; but require
no further information. During these waking intervals I miss
the lovely Form whose presence is my sovereign joy: that thought is
attended with many sighs But soon I shall seek refuge in my
grassy Bed tis then the softest Slumbers steal oer my senses
Even now I feel their approach O may they never be dispelld
till Fate permits my gazing at least, a few fond moments on the one
I love.
Fonthill
March 1780
My situation is sad and solitary. I stray disconsolately on the Rocks
by the Caves of the Sleepers scarcely knowing which way to bend my
steps. I look around and all is a perfect void. Those Scenes
which were wont to amuse me delight no more.
My Imagination roams to other Countries in search of pleasures it
no longer finds at Home. This Evening it had been transported
to those immense unfrequented Plains of Tartary which are covered
with Herbs and [30] Flowers. Amongst these I fancied myself reposing
and thought the one I love best in the Universe was gathering Roses
by my side. A visionary Sun gleamed faintly over the boundless
prospect, no Hill, no Tree appeared. We heard the murmur of a Rill;
but could not discover it; for we seemed lost in airy Flowers that
waving above our Heads diffused a delicious perfume. Why can
I not communicate to you my sensations when I imagined myself on the
very extremity of the World in the secure possession of all I desired?
But it is impossible they are not to be described. Such Delusions
as these form my present felicity, without them I should be the most
unhappy of Mankind and the persecutions of Frenguis would be intolerable.
But now when their conversations grow too discordant for my
Nature I fly, fasten all my Doors, secure myself in the interior Cell
and without the assistance of a magic Carpet, am transported wheresoever
I list. Had I not this power I should soon breathe my last;
but Hope that omnipotent Divinity smiles upon me and
[CONTINUED]